Nate and I didn’t have a wedding, or a honeymoon. We always said we would… someday… maybe for our 5 or 10 year anniversary, ya know. Well they both came and went and we did nothing. When my Papa died that idea died with him. He wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle, with my uncles; all the men who raised me when my father turned deserter. I would never have pictures of him and I together for a Father-Daughter dance. And I would never have the item I coveted most; one of the poems he would write about the happy couple as part of his wedding gift. I waited too long and made the terrible mistake of believing that there would be time.
Early 2019 was a huge wake up call for me. The general awareness of mortality had stepped out of the shadows to knock at the front door of those close to us. A beloved uncle of mine had become incredibly sick and almost died. A family friend received a grim prognosis and would not see out the year. Both of these men were pinnacles of honour, kindness, intelligence and leadership. Both had spent their lives doing all the right things and never being selfish or unjust. It was so unfair. Although my uncle recovered, our family friend did not. He had been patiently waiting for his wife to join him in retirement so they could finally go do all the things they wanted, but they would never get the chance. They too made the terrible mistake of believing they had time.
It was heartbreaking, and yet somehow fortifying. It shook me awake to the fact that no one is promised a tomorrow and strengthened a resolve to STOP WAITING! The facts of the matter are that there will never be enough time. There will never be enough money. The perfect conditions do not exist. If there is something you want then you just have to make it happen. So, I threw caution to the wind and booked 2 flights to Europe for our anniversary. I had always wanted to, but was waiting for the right time. In 2019 I stopped waiting, and now I’ll never look back.
